AI matchmaker the understanding of attraction and compatibility
Generative AI
Saruta Charunmethee
min read
February 5, 2024

Can AI matchmakers understand the meaning of attraction?

Most dating apps redefine modern love through compatibility and common interests—fact or hot take?

AI dating app compatibility matchmaker attraction
AI Dating apps' understanding of attraction

There are so many debatable ideas when it comes to love and attraction. Some were put to the test through online platforms.

Online dating has been around since 1995, when the site narrowed the dating pool and paired up users based on preferences and lifestyle selections, leading to an increase in marriage rates a few years later, followed by the emergence of various dating platforms.

What about organic meet cute? What about “I bumped into him at a coffee shop and we caught each other’s eyes”?

A girl can dream, or blame it on some unrealistic expectations in rom-coms. 

AI technology has now undeniably revolutionized dating experiences to the point where it changes society’s perspectives, behaviors, and expectations and contributes to the normalization of hook-up culture, uncommitted relationships, and “ghosting” in many parts of the world. 

But it does lead to success. According to a study conducted in 2022, over the past two years, 39% of individuals using the dating app Bumble have concluded a marriage or a significant relationship. 

That’s one app. And there are plenty more.

What defines attraction and does that affect the tendency to date someone?

According to the American Psychological Association, attraction or interpersonal attraction is “the interest in and liking of one individual by another which also includes shared experiences or characteristics, and physical appearance.”

But what makes online dating challenging is that we will never know if the profile really shows who they are and what body language they indicate during romantic approach.

A 2022 Bumble Survey reveals that more than a third (38%) are open to dating someone different physically, 28% don't mind if it doesn't meet others' expectations, and 63% care more about emotional maturity than looks.

While in organic or traditional dating you might not judge what they do for a living right off the bat or consider their lack of “rizz” as a deal-breaker, online dating channels your attention to the their best pictures, texting consistency, and the possibility of how this person could be. 

What does AI see in a match?

For AI, attraction is determined by certain factors you might not even be consciously aware of.

The specific AI systems can vary across platforms, but common elements include machine learning. 

Profiles are shuffled in the system and primarily filtered by distance, interests, and some other preferences based on the user’s customization.

Then, the selections of your potential partners are analyzed in terms of behavioral patterns and compatibility scores based on shared interests, values, and responses to personality questions.

The AI algorithm learns and gets better everytime you swipe right by scanning facial features you tend to be attracted to then showing “more and more of your type”.

The fact that such variations heavily influence how an individual perceives one another can create different approaches to dating and preconceptions of their potential partner.

That explains why information gathered by the Pew Research Center reveals that 47% of Americans believe that dating is more challenging now than it was a decade ago.

What to expect from AI-driven dating apps

What if your potential partner lives in another city?

Thanks to certain paid features, you’re able to access and be exposed to users from the other side of the world. It also helps users to connect with people in different environments and cultures.

Either way, it should not stop you from being open and experiencing love in different ways, shapes and forms.

And to have a successful relationship, it requires more than just attraction, or to quote Robert Sternberg’s theory—the three components of love consist of intimacy, passion, and commitment. 

A connection that is not universally experienced and scientifically explained. No right or wrong.

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